A Whole New World

Today is A and my 9 months of dating, and it has been a reallyyyy crazy journey. And each day we’ve been dating i learn new things about him, new things about me, and new things about God. It’s a whole ‘nuther world! You learn secrets from other girls who are dating on how to make a relationship work. You make new friends to keep you accountable for things you never thought you needed accountability for. There are new struggles, trials, burdens, and obstacles that i have never even THOUGHT about. Food also tastes so much more different than it did as a single (better that is! well maybe cause i always feel like have to battle for food when i eat with A), and old experiences feels like new experiences.

But besides all that good & fun aspects of a relationship, it’s also been a rough journey. There are regrets and baggages we carry and help each other carry. We do get upset at each other, and no, our relationship isn’t perfect and far from it. In the end, i can say that it has been worth it, and i’ve learned to love better, be patient better, serve better, and care better because of him.

I’m also thankful for two sisters at Harvest who have been walking aside with me through all of this. Thank you for giving me wisdom from your relationship experiences and encouraging me to press on! Love you girls!

and, babe… happy 9 months!!!! It seems like nothing compared to a life time, but i can’t imagine how much more i’ll learn about you. You’re the best, and thanks for being patient with me. I can’t wait for National Girl’s Christmas Day!! jk jk…

– N

Rain in me, Reign in me

Yesterday, I waited for the rain…. okay, cause i reallyyyyy wanted my ochem class to be canceled. But what really happened was, God brought rain in the morning, and it didn’t rain until after my ochem class at 9:30p. It sucked, but i was reminded of God’s sovereignty and how He allows the orchestration of the rain at His own will. Anthony and i went to Studio Diner last night, and i almost thought we had to spend the night there. It was raining so crazy hard, and there were crazy lightenings. We ended up leaving, and on our drive back, we saw reallyyy beautiful lightening (which, we would stop talking and count the seconds to the thunder! but it was usually too far!). On the way back, i asked him what he would say if his child asked why there was thunder. We both agreed that we’d tell our children that God was using a flashlight to look for them when they’re doing something bad!

I think i’ve said a million times how hard this year has been for me. My own life and spiritual life was touched with dryness. It’s weird, cause everyone near me was going through the same thing. I saw dryness in this land! (literally, SD was in a drought). I usually hate rain… i hate getting wet, i hate being cold, i hate having to go to class, but i’ve really enjoyed the crazy rain this week. It’s reminded me to hold fast to my faith, cause the dry land calls upon rain, and when the rain comes, the sun follows!

So hold fast! It’s almost over, and God will speak to us! If not, He’ll continue to speak to us with His quiet assurance!

“…a time to dance” – Ecclesiastes 3:4

Thanks for dancing through life with me : )

one more week of winter break! I’m pretty excited to go back to SD, and to start a NEW year! Through all the encouraging conversations and fellowships i’ve had these past two weeks, i’ve been able to feel refreshed and ready to tackle life again. I believe this will be the last post i will make in 2009, so here are some things i’m super thankful for:

1. My boyfriend: for patience, love, forgiveness, care, and cute face. Thank you for encouraging me when i feel like death, and loving me when i look like death. Thank you for sacrificing for me everyday, and never holding it against me. You’re the best, and i know that telling you that everyday isn’t enough.

2. My roommate: : ) for her patience, love, forgiveness, and care as well. Thank you for being an encouragement to me when times got hard, and for listening to me, even when i’m a bit depressing. Thank you for always being so kind to me and generous.

3. My ministry team// Alex, Vania, Janice, Tiff: thank you serving me, serving Harvest, and serving God. Thank you for bearing with my “noob” ness and always so passionate for His gospel. And definitely being so prayerful : )

4. Trials: Thankful for all the trials God sovereignly placed in my life. It’s been hard, but i’ve grown a lot… esp. in humility.

see you all in 2010!

‘40 years’, I asked. But ‘2 months’, He gave.

This past Sunday i went back to my home church in LA, and my pastor spoke on experiencing hard times. He used Mother Teresa  as an example, how in her 40 years of service to God, she only experienced God a total of 2 months (i think it was 2 i can’t remember, that’s not the point anyhow).

I spent around 2 hrs at cafe Roule reflecting on this past 2009 year. It was one of the hardest years i’ve experienced in my whole (still very young) life. I saw my faithlessness as soon as i experienced the “absence” of God. And as i reflected, i saw this hammer of humility pounded into every area of my life — ministries, relationships, friendships, academics, etc. I wrote two words that described my 2009 year:

Epic Fail

I was epic fail. All the areas of my life was epic fail. And i was reminded of the meaning of faith… hope in what is unseen. There’s so many times i lose faith cause i don’t ‘feel’ God, or ’see’ God… or there were no evidences of God in an area of my life (or in my case, all areas…), but to think, mother Teresa spent more than 90% of her life feeling the absence of God, and she still served God faithfully. And as i looked back this entire year, i saw how sovereign and active God was in my life this past year. I learned and grew so much in love, in patience, in faith, in forgiveness, in grace, in God’s sovereignty, in trust, etc. And not just with God, but with the people in my life.

I was able to meet up with a few people last week, and the conversations have been such a blessing. I was reminded to be faithful, because God is and was. I was reminded of the standing stones in my life– specific moments in my life when God provided. Thank you, sisters. : )

Anyhow, i’m starting to get really bad at this blogging thing. I only did it because mysoju wasn’t working for me, so i couldn’t watch my kdrama … sign from God? : )

I know this was also supposed to be a photo blog, but i got lazy… the only picture i have is a screenshot of my vchat with A, which i’ll share with you all…

i WOULD do that for him if he asked... what is a gf for anyways!

Life?

After meeting up with friends tonight, i realize that the future has been recently MORE on our minds than usual. Who’s going where and when everyone’s graduating… what are your life plans, and what are mine! I was watching a movie called My Life in Ruins, and a woman asked this man what his life plan was, he said, “life plan? How do you plan life!” and it’s so true… In Tom Cruise’s movie Valkyrie, a bunch of men were planning to assassinate Hitler, and one man said, “Remember, this is a military operation. Nothing ever goes according to plan.”

life is like a military operation in SO many ways… we must live like we’re fighting a spiritual battle every single day… and to always unexpect! and to not plan, cause how do you plan a life that is out of your control. And, i’m starting to find this a lot harder to believe as graduation day comes closer. People are talking about marriage, about life goals, about moving home, or moving away, about going to grad school, and career plans… it’s hard to think that life is not in your control, when it feels like it is.

The Weekend

it was a pretty good retreat i have to say. Relaxing in some ways, and tiring in others. It went by pretty fast… here are some pictures…

 

 

This isn't from retreat, but Phyllis made me really good pumpkin breadish thing... cake? i forgot what she called it : ) but it was reallyyy good

vania, tina, and i did devos together on the first day. and if you can tell... there's the blaring sunlight which we tried to avoid... but i guess it's just tina's halo haloo... haha jk

teaaammmm watermelons : ) thanks Hanson for leading our group... that's supposed to be a watermelon cape, but it could ALSO be a watermelon apron... so ingenious!

 

yes, i know... vania totally blinked... but the thing is... this was our second try, cause the first time... vania totally covered her own face with her hand... lol... so i guess this is the lesser evil : ) Thanks for the conversation we had the previous night...

Bolivia girlsss : ) our beanie kept us warm... and made leslie and i look like boys. at least we look like pretty boys. : )

on the way back from retreat, we dropped by Julian and bought two apple pies! They were REALLY good and totally worth going! We also had apple cider... yum... the little town was so cute too!

And after we got home, we celebrated vania's 22nd birthday with hotpot... it was pretty awesome...

 

 

 

First post on a glimpse into my boring boring life

 

SO, my camera is painfully unused, and i feel bad that my mom bought me a camera about a year and half ago in Japan, and i RARELY use it! After my first camera broke, i guess i just stopped using it. So here’s my attempt. I love looking at people’s pictures when i’m super bored. It helps me relate to them… and you try to sympathize with the other person… or when you’re nosey, you try to find out who the other person is dating… cause i KNOW you all do that.

So here’s the beginning of my picture blog… hoping that i’ll take a few pictures everyday…

 

 

This picture is dedicated to my boyfriend, cause he thinks apple is from the devil, and that i'm a sell out. So i took a picture of ALL my mac products. So far, the mcp hasn't given me any problems AND it's pretty. My itouch is the death of me, esp. all those game apps... esp. the VERY addicting ones. I make myself delete all of them, because i play for hours trying to beat my best competitor--myself. i am sad.

 

I'm going on a harvest retreat for the rest of the weekend, and this is my attempt to pack. And if you can see, i only have a pair of sweats in there... my attempt is fruitless, but at least i'm trying...

 

This is one of the few pictures i took (well, i didn't actually take it... my camera did) when i went up to NorCal this past summer. Third wheels are awesome no? : ) and yes, this is an old picture... i just figured if you're only on my blog to find out my secret relationships, that i'd make it a little harder for you. For all you know, i'm not dating EITHER. just kidding... my boyfriend's the best : ) and emerson... the best for Or.G... lol

 

 

okay, i’m done! I will TRY to take as many pictures as i can this weekend at Pine Valley! I’ll be painstakingly detailed… that you’ll want to throw a rock at me and my camera… (and then you can buy me a new one! yay! what a win win)

 

Broken, Broke In

Even though life has been stressful as of late and i’ve been finding myself faithless, I’ve been seeing how good God’s been to me. He’s been giving me what I need and taking away things I don’t. And I finally realized that God has answered the prayer that I’ve been praying– to hear Him. And even if I don’t hear Him yet I know that God’s just preparing my heart and my ears to hear. So, He first takes away the distracting noise of my computer, then reliance on the relationships around me, my pride in thinking that “I could…” on my own, and the arrogance in thinking that nothing bad would happen to me and if I did I would continue strong in my faith. I’m learning slowly to turn the noise down and the music of God up. I’m learning to remind myself that God does all things to love me and not to harm me. So, my car being broken in is only God reminding me that He’s breaking into my heart. Until then, I will wait.

the greatest truth that i have learned this year is that you can never outsin Gods grace…

It’s been a lot easier to live life when i recognize the little blessings i have each day. Sometimes it’s that nice parking spot in Hopkins or even having my laptop break on me (i still cry a little bit inside… : ( ) God’s been good, and He’s been taking away things that i don’t need and replacing it with things that i do.  He takes my computer away to take distractions away and replacing it with peace. He takes other dependencies so that i’d depend on Him. He tests my patience and my humility by giving me opportunities to practice patience and humility, and then, when i fail to be patient or humble… God shows me how much i need Him for those. That’s all!

– Nina

p.s. why is bml so hot.

p.p.s. and i thank God for my itouch.